Solstice
by MaureenSantoro
Summary: Continuation of Jacob & Renesmee's relationship
1. Chapter 1

**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.**

**Solstice**

**By**

**Renee Cruz & Maureen Santoro**

"**If you cannot find the truth right where you are, where do you expect to find it?" **

**Ralph Waldo Emmerson**

**1. Hunting**

I never could get used to the horrible smell of the animals that we hunted. Human blood always appealed to me so much more but this was so against everything that my parents had fought for. Actually my entire family for that matter. They called themselves "vegetarians" because they only survive on the blood of animals.

I felt so completely different from my family. I was a hybrid, half vampire and half human. Conceived prior to my mother, Bella being turned into a vampire by my father, Edward. Apparently I had almost killed her just by being conceived. That's what I had always been told at least. I knew that I shouldn't have felt guilty but I did.

I sensed that I was being watched and so I gazed across the field to see My Jacob, my protector watching me as he did so often. He has always been a part of my life, as natural as any one of my family but there always seems like there is something more, something that no one wants to tell me.

He was in his wolf form so that he could hunt with me, this too was quite normal. You see, Jacob is a werewolf, not your typical howl at the moon werewolf but a shape shifter. It was what happened to some of his tribe members when vampires were too close, although, there haven't been any "dangerous" vampires in at least seven years. Since, the Volturri came to make sure that I wasn't dangerous.

I smiled and put out my hand, Jacob bumped it and motioned that it was time for us to be heading back now. I was not ready to go back but slowly started to follow him back to my house.

The smell took me by surprise, blood, human blood and it made my throat ache and burn. Who could it have been? What could it have been from? Jacob didn't notice that I had stopped walking behind him. I headed off the trail, following the smell. When I found it, I was appalled at myself, for wanting the blood so badly when I saw that it was a hiker that had fallen and cut open his leg. I knew I should have run and gone to get help but my legs were like rocks, cemented to the ground.

The hiker looked up at me and smiled. Nothing about _my_ appearance gave me away, not my skin, not my eyes, he had no way of knowing that I was thirsting for his blood. No way of knowing that I wanted it so badly. Maybe just a little taste wouldn't be so bad but I knew better. I was afraid that I wasn't going to be able to stop and I would have had to kill him, although I am not venomous, I am still very strong.

I heard a branch crack behind me and Jacob was standing there. "Nessie, what happened to you? You were right behind me and then….." his voice trailed off when he realized we were not alone. The hiker was staring at both of us now with some nervousness in his eyes. We were quite a sight to see when we were together, Jacob is huge when he is human, 6'7" with muscles to spare and I am a beauty. Well at least they say I am beautiful, anyway, right then I felt like a monster.

"Hey, let's get you out of here." Jacob said to the hiker. "There's a Doctor just up the road that can help you and get you on your way."

"Thanks." the hiker says, as Jacob leaned down and picked him up.

So many thoughts but mostly guilt. How could I even consider compromising my family this way. If I needed to do this I would need to go alone by myself. I couldn't think about it or my father would know, it's a good thing my aunt couldn't see me. This just had to happen. I knew that it would be difficult because I was always being followed by Jacob.

We arrived back at my house. My grandfather, Dr. Carlyle Cullen came out to meet us. My aunt Alice had told him that there was a stranger coming that had been badly injured and was bleeding, how he was getting there was a little fuzzy as she couldn't see either of us. "I'll take it from here Jacob" my grandfather said.

I walked away as quickly as I could hoping Jacob wouldn't follow me but he did as usual. "Nessie, hey Nessie wait up for me"

I turned around trying to keep the look of annoyance out of my eyes. "Yes, Jacob, what?"

"You seem a million miles away, what's wrong with you?" "Nothing Jacob, you just wouldn't understand"

"Well, you haven't even tried to tell me, so how do you know?"

"Because, no one would, could ever possibly understand what I am going through."

Jacob looked mildly amused at my words, although, I meant them to bite.

"Nessie, you might be surprised, go ahead, try me"

"Jacob, you've got to swear that you'll NEVER say anything to anyone about what I am about to tell you"

"You have my promise, not a word."

"Ok, here goes, Jake I wanted to kill that hiker. I wanted to drink his blood and if you hadn't shown up maybe I would have."

As I said this Jacob's eyes got bigger and his smile disappeared. "Nessie, what are you saying?"

"Jacob, I am saying that I am tired of pretending that I am not tempted, that I want, no almost need to taste human blood again."

Jacob took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Honey, I think it's time you talked to your mom and dad"

I never could understand why Jacob called me honey, I couldn't stand it. It was as if he thought I was his or something. The way he looked at me sometimes drove me crazy, especially right now. "I told you Jacob I can't and you better not."

Right then I saw the hiker getting into my father Edward's car. Disappointment shot through my body. I'd hoped that he was going to be staying longer but oh well. My father drove past us and waved. He had a look on his face like, I need to talk to you later little girl. I smiled and turned to walk back towards our cottage.

"Don't follow me Jacob, I want to be alone, please."

The look in Jacob's eyes was almost heartbreaking but I did not understand why he looked at me like that. "Ok, Nessie, ok. If you need me just call."


	2. Chapter 2

**2. Fed Up**

"Renesme, where are you?" It was my father, Edward. I did not want to answer him but knew that he would just find me by reading my mind anyway.

"I'm in my room dad, what's up?" He is the most handsome man I've ever seen. My mom, Bella says "that he's the most handsome 117 year old, she's ever seen". I smile at this thought as my father walks into my room.

He smiles at the thought too. "Your mother would think I was handsome even if I looked like a potato because she loves me."

"No dad she thinks you're the most handsome because you are."

"Renesme, don't try to change the subject, you know why I'm upset."

"Yes"

"Why haven't you come to either of us to let us know how you have been feeling?" "You know that we have all struggled with what you are struggling with now, at one time or another."

"Dad, I just wanted to be perfect in your eyes."

My father's topaz eyes close. "Sweetheart, there could never be a more perfect girl to be my daughter, just the fact that you are even alive is a miracle. You know that right?"

"Yes"

"Nessie" My dad only called me this when my mom wasn't around. "There are a lot of things that you need to learn and then you will understand it all."

"Dad, can you answer a question?" The tone of my voice and the fact that he already knows my question made my father's face change to amusement.

"What is it Nessie?"

"Oh come on dad you're really going to make me say it?"

"Yes, I need to make very sure that I answer correctly"

"OK, fine! Dad why doesn't Jacob have a girlfriend or a wife? I mean he's always here, always following me, I am just getting fed up!" "He acts like he's my….my…I don't know, he looks at me like he wishes there was something more."

My dad smiles at me "Renesme, Jacob has been a part of your life since you were born and he just loves you like the rest of us."

"No, dad I think he has feelings for me and that is pretty gross. He's like 23 years old."

"Renesme, I don't want you making Jacob feel bad but I'll talk to him and tell him that you need a little space."

"Daddy, don't hurt his feelings though ok, because I do love him but just as friends."

"I'll be gentle, but I think that you need to speak to your mother."

"Why?"

"Oh she's got much more insight into Jacob than I ever will" and then under his breath I could hear him say "or care to remember." he leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on my forehead, turned and left the room.

I had a lot to think about and so I decided to go for a run. I didn't want anyone to know so I slipped out my bedroom window. As I started around the house, I could hear my parents talking.

"Bella, she's starting to notice"

"Well, Edward what should we do?"

What were they talking about? Why would the fact that Jacob Black was driving me crazy make both of my parents act so strange? "Edward, I can't tell her, and we can't tell Jacob. It would crush him"

"Bella, maybe he just needs to take a step back, let her grow some more without him breathing down her neck every second of the day."

"Is that what she asked for?"

"Yes, she asked me to tell him that she needs space to be herself."

It was all so strange, the way Jacob made me feel, the way my parents were talking and the way I felt. Some days I loved having Jake around, he was my best-friend. Except lately he just seemed more attached, less willing to let me be by myself. I loved him but I certainly was not in love with him. This seemed to be where my problem lay. I ran for what seemed like hours, it was getting dark and I knew my parents would start to worry so I headed home.

As I started up the path to our cottage I could hear muffled voices coming from inside, it was my parents and Jacob. I slipped in through my window and sat on my bed. Jacob sounded so upset and my mother was trying to console him. "Jake, you've got to give her time and space, you know she loves you."

"Bella, I just don't want to loose her" and as an afterthought I heard him say "too".

"Jake, I thought you said that once you imprint on someone they will be together no matter what."

What was my mother talking about? What the heck was imprinting?

"Well, Bella we'll surely find out if it's true won't we?" "I will give her time and space. I will go back home and take care of some stuff at my dad's".

My father got up from the couch and put his ice cold hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Jacob, you know that you are welcome here anytime but I think it's time to see if it's "out of sight out of mind or absence makes the heart grow fonder".

I giggled at that and everyone turned towards my room. "Jacob, I think it's time for you to go now." "Let us talk to her".

"Can I at least say goodbye?"

"Of course." "Renesme, please come out here."

"OK, dad, I'll be right out" I took a deep breath, ran a brush through my curls and walked slowly into the living room.

Six pairs of eyes turned to look at me and I immediately felt like the bad guy. Jacobs's eyes were wide and so sad, I just couldn't look at him. Jacob cleared his throat and started speaking. "Nessie, I just wanted to tell you good-bye, I have to go help my dad take care of some family business"

I looked up at him then with questions in my eyes. "For how long?"

"I don't know, but if you need me please call me anytime. I can be here in 15 minutes."

At that very moment, I realized that I was such a loser. I was breaking his heart but I couldn't go back now. I had to act like this was a good thing.

"OK, Jacob, be careful and we'll talk soon". I stood on my tiptoes to give him a hug and the next thing I knew he was crushing me to himself.

My father stepped in then and took Jacobs hand and shook it. "We'll see you soon Jacob".

"Yes, Edward….I _will_ be back soon." He turned to my mother, "Bella, _please_ take care of everything." and my mother looked like she would be crying if she could.

Jacob turned and walked out the door. The next thing I saw was a big russet colored wolf running into the forest. The last thing that I heard from Jacob was a heart wrenching howl.

I turned to my parents with tears in my eyes, allowing myself to cry. My father opened his arms and I threw myself into them.


	3. Chapter 3

**3. Visitors**

I don't know exactly when or how I got to my bed but when I woke up the next morning I was surprised to see my mother sitting in the rocking chair, which used to be hers, by my bed.

"Good morning, sweetheart"

"Good morning, mom, did you sit there all night?"

"Not all night but when you started crying in your sleep, I came in here." "Do you remember what you were dreaming about?"

I remembered but I didn't want to tell my mother because it would only prove what a loser I was.

"Nope, can't remember a thing".

I winced because right then my father walked into my room.

"Edward, Renesme was crying in her sleep but she says that she can't remember why."

My father smiled at me and went to kiss my mother. It amazed me everyday how much they loved each other. I could only hope that someday I would have that kind of love in my own life.

My father turned towards me, questions in his eyes but said nothing.

I knew from that one look he knew about my dreams and what I was thinking about love but I could also tell that he knew the other things that I had been thinking about, contemplating.

"Knock, knock" It was my Auntie Alice. She was the coolest aunt ever. I would never say that out loud because it would hurt my Auntie Rosalie. "Good morning, my favorite niece" "I was thinking that we could go shopping for some new school clothes for you today."

"That sounds like fun!" "Mom, Dad can I go?"

"Of course!" I noticed that my father answered a little too quickly and I caught a look between the two of them. I wasn't sure what it was about though.

My Aunt Alice can see the future and my father can read minds. At times there are no words spoken between them but they know what is happening.

"Nessie, go get ready while we talk to your aunt."

I turned to run to the bathroom but stood in the hall to try to hear what was going on.

"Alice, when?" Are you sure? I heard the concern in my father's voice.

"Yes, Edward she should be here this afternoon"

"But Alice why?"

"Bella, that's the part that I'm not too clear about, which makes me think that Nessie is involved"

"I don't like this" My mother's voice was starting to sound a little nervous, a little anxious….really, really worried.

"Bella, don't start worrying yet, I am sure they just want to visit again." My father _sounded _calm but I could tell he was trying to put my mother at ease.

"Edward, I knew that he would come back for her!"

I turned and ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. _Who _were my parents talking about? Who's coming for me? Was it the Volturri? No, my mother said "He", who was he? Auntie Alice said she. Who were they all talking about? I was wishing now that I hadn't sent Jacob away but it was too late.

When Auntie Alice and I got back to my house after shopping, I noticed a note on the table:

**Come up to Grandma & Grandpa's house, as soon as**

**you get home. We'll be waiting.**

**Dad**

I walked hesitantly into my grandparents house and sitting on the white couch was a woman and a young man, he was beautifully brown with the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard. He looked up when I walked in the room and smiled. I had to stop in my tracks, the sight of his smile took my breath away.

My father spoke first "Nahuel, I'd like to introduce you to my daughter, Renesme" "She was just a baby the last time that you met."

Nahuel got up and came over to shake my hand "It's my pleasure to meet you Renesme" He smiled his beautiful smile again.

"Nice to meet you too" and I could barely speak. My father raised his eyebrow and looked at me. I knew that he could hear my irregular heartbeat and my pulse rising. My mother and the rest of my family were all staring at me.

My father quickly excused us and we went into the kitchen, my mother followed. "Renesme, are you feeling ok? I could hear your heartbeat accelerate."

"Dad, I'm fine, he is just so beautiful, who is he? Where did he come from? You said that we'd met before but when?

"One question at a time" "he is from Brazil" "When your Aunt Alice could see that we were going to need more proof that you were not a threat to the Volturri and the rest of the world she left us and went searching for what we thought at the time was a myth. What she found was Nahuel and his aunt, she brought them back here."

My eyes widened "Dad are you telling me that he is half human and half vampire like me?"

My mother sighed as if she were saddened by my question. "Yes, honey that's exactly what he is."

"Why is he here _now?" _I asked a little pitchy

"Well, you are the only one of his kind besides his sister and he is curious"

"Curious about what?"

"Curious to get to know you, exchange stories….." I could tell my father was holding back, he didn't want to tell me something.

"Oh Edward, just tell her the truth, she is old enough" "She is going to find out soon enough anyway." My mother was so upset now and I still didn't understand why.

"Ok, Nessie, Nahuel is here to see if a match can be made"

My mouth dropped open "A match, what are you talking about?"

"He would like to get to know you, to see if you are interested in him"

"Oh" was all I could muster. My mind was racing in a million different directions. "I think that I need to go lie down now." "I need to think about this"

My mother shook her head in agreement and my father said "Sweetheart, go ahead. We will take care of this"

I turned to run out the back door but turned around "Dad, don't send him away. I have sort of asked for this and I must at least give him a chance."

My mother again looked like she was going to cry . "Mom, what is it?"

"Renesme, I think it is time that I told you everything, from the beginning"

"Mom, you're freaking me out here, what are you talking about?"

"Renesme, come sit down, your father and I need to tell you something about Jacob. Something about Jacob and you that we should have explained to you much, much sooner.

My heart sank as I walked over to the chair by my mother.

"What mom? What about Jake and I?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Truth**

My mother took a deep breath and took my hands in hers. "Renesmee, do you remember the story of how Sam and Emily met each other?"

"Yes? Why?"

"Well, honey it has to do with the bracelet that you wear from Jacob."

"What mother, you are really, really worrying me here." "You told me that was a gift that Jake had given me for my first Christmas."

"Do you ever wonder why you've always worn it?"

"Sometimes."

"Well, Renesmee you wear that bracelet as a sign, a sign that you and Jacob are promised to each other." "It is a very difficult thing to explain, but the day that you were born Jacob imprinted on you, just like Sam imprinted on Emily." "That is why he has been around here, so protective of you, you are his soul mate."

"WHAT?" "I was just a baby, mom that is crazy"

"I know it sounds crazy Renesmee and some people would think that way. However, Jacobs feelings for you have always just been that of a friend, protector and confidant." "Nothing more." When my mother said that I lifted my eyebrows and looked at her. "Well, until, just recently anyway"

I took a deep breath, "So what you are saying here then is that I have no choice? I am destined to be with Jacob whether I want him or not?"

As I spoke those words, my father came to stand in front of me, "Of course not Renesmee, you have a choice, Jacob is fully prepared if you choose someone else."

"But, why didn't you tell me sooner? I wish that I would have known all along"

"We thought that Jacob was your choice too, you always wanted to be with him, you both had such a draw, a pull towards one another." "We never expected this turn of events."

I started to cry, I just couldn't breathe, I didn't know what they wanted me to say or do at that moment. I was feeling like I was drowning. Drowning in all of the memories, drowning in the feelings, drowning in the loss of my future. "I can't believe this, I can't believe that no one told me ANYTHING!" "I have to get out of here." I got up turned and ran right into Nahuel.

"Oh, I am so sorry, excuse me" I said "No, no it was my fault, I am glad" and he smiled that beautiful smile again.

In my head all I could hear was Jake's voice "Take care Nessie, I'll be here anytime you need me", the heart wrenching howl of that last day together. It all started to make sense to me, I knew the time of being just my protector was over for Jacob. He was ready for the next step. Was I, would I ever be? I couldn't stand it. Why me? Why not a girl at the reservation, like the rest of the wolf pack had done. They had all found someone that was Quileute. What was he thinking? I wasn't even a werewolf, I was human, I was a vampire! I knew that he didn't have any say in the matter but I did. Could I feel that way about Jake? I mean he was one of the most loving people I knew, he was beautiful inside and out, he was my best-friend. I had never, ever even considered him as anything other than that. I needed time, I needed to get away. I needed to see if there were other possibilities out there. But hadn't he been through enough rejection in one lifetime? I knew, though neither of my parents had ever told me that Jake had been in love with my mother and she had chosen my father. It always made me wonder why he stuck around, even after all of that. Well, now I knew why and it was because of me. Man, I felt like such a loser. I mean my mother explained it to me that once someone was imprinted on that person became whatever the other needed at that time and that it wasn't always someone that started out as an infant. So far only Quil and Claire were in that situation, I mean Claire was still only 10, Quil had a looong time to wait. Wow! That was true….what love? Devotion? Craziness. But for Jake and I it didn't have to be like that because I was already grown and so was he. I still wasn't sure that was the path I wanted to go down.

I thought of the beautiful boy that was sitting in my grandparents living room. I wanted a chance to get to know more about him, what had his life been like up until now. Where was he from exactly? How had it been for him as a hybrid like me? My curiosity won out and I headed back to the house.

My mother was caught off guard when I walked through the door. "I wasn't expecting you back so quickly"

"I know, but I thought that I should try and be hospitable to our guests"

My mother raised her eyes "Renesmee are you sure about this?"

"Yes, mother. I have to be able to make an educated decision. I know that if I chose Jake now. I would always be wondering if I did it because I had to or if I did it because I wanted to.

My mother wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek. "OK, we know you will make the best decision for yourself."

With that I turned to walk into the living room, I could hear another heart beating besides my own and with each beat I knew I was making the right choice for myself, for now.

"Nahuel would you like to go for a walk with me?"

He flashed his beautiful smile and we walked out the door. I could feel my parents eyes on us as we left the house. But I didn't look back. "Nahuel, what is it like where you come from?" "Well, I am from a little town in Southern Argentina" "I am Mapuche, we are an indigenous people" "My Aunt and I have a cattle ranch there."

"Interesting, cattle? Do you sell them or eat them?" I thought to myself that it could serve two purposes for me if I were to live there with him. What was I thinking? Live there with him? Was I already planning on leaving?

"Renesmee?" I looked up and smiled. I didn't realize that I had not heard anything else that Nahuel had said to me. "I am so sorry, I didn't hear you."

He smiled at me, "it's OK, we use the cattle so that we can make a living." My aunt and I feed on humans, unlike you and your family" "I find the idea of living only on animals a very interesting concept." "Something that I would like to explore further with your grandfather."

"Nahuel, I think that I would like to see where you live someday." I couldn't believe how easily that had come out of my mouth. What else would I say?

Nahuel turned and smiled at me "Why wait?, why not come with me now?" "My aunt is here and she could be your chaperone. I am sure that your parents would say that it is OK." "Renesmee, I am an honorable man, and I use the word man loosely. But I would like a chance to get to know you better. To show you my home. I would like for you to meet my sister Jennifer. She actually lives here in the United States, but in Ohio, we could stop to get her and bring her with us."

The words were tumbling around inside my head, I had asked for something like this, a change. I knew I would miss my family and Jacob but I needed this. I looked up at that moment to see my father, my mother, auntie Alice and Nahuel's aunt Huilen standing on the porch, all with a look of disbelief on their faces and I realized why, Nahuel had taken my hand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 **

**Running**

My hand in his seemed so normal as if it were meant to be there. "Nahuel, I will go with you. I need to get away, get some perspective. See the world a little."

As soon as these words were out of my mouth, my mother was at my side. "Renesmee, I don't think this is a good idea" "Why mother?"

"Well, first off you don't know him, secondly what about Jake and his feelings?"

I looked at my mother then and could see that she was truly rooting for Jake. Out of guilt? Maybe..but she was still wishing the best for him, after all these years. "Mom, I need this, I need the distance"

"Edward, I just don't think this is a very good idea, could you please talk some sense into your daughter." My father looked at me and although he already knew my thoughts he said "Renesme, I think you need to wait a while. Talk to Jacob, get to know Nahuel." "He is asking for you to leave the home that you know and go live a life completely different than your own"

I knew to keep what I was planning a secret, I was going to have to really muck up my thoughts or my dad would know my plans. "Fine, fine I will do it your way." I needed to go down to La Push, talk to Jake, especially now that I knew I was his object of imprinted desire, ha! That was quite the joke, on me. Everyone knew but me. Oh my gosh what did they expect me to do with that information? I mean Jake has never tried anything with me because seriously that could have been gross. Jakes been nothing but wonderful, loving but not in a weird way and warm, always warm. I had to go and it had to be soon, I couldn't afford for Jake to come up here while Nahuel was here. I didn't want to hurt him but what I was about to go do, would do just that.

Once again I went to my room and snuck out the window and ran easily the 15 minutes to La Push. I slowed as I approached Jacobs house. I was now all shades of nervous, knowing that Jacob might have some idea that I knew all about the imprinting. I knew that in the next few minutes I would be breaking Jakes heart. I had been to this house a million times. It never changed. The '86 VW Rabbit in the front, Jakes motorcycle in the back. It was as familiar as my own home was to me.

I slowed down and walked up to the front door, it seemed like no one was home. But before I could knock the door burst open and I was swept up into Jakes strong arms. "Nessie, I have missed you so much!" I knew the words were so true.

"Me too Jake" and I hugged him back. The warmth of his embrace filled my heart and I realized the truth in my statement. I did miss Jake, he was a part of me but was I ready to make him mine? I decided that what I was planning on doing was the right thing. I was never more thankful that my Auntie Alice couldn't see my future. I just had to keep my thoughts locked away from my father.

"What are you doing down here?" "Awe Jake, I just needed to see you, I've missed you"

"Did your parents explain everything to you?"

"Yes, and I just wanted to let you know how I feel."

"Nessie, look if you're here to tell me that you love me, but…I'd rather you'd left. I don't think that my heart could handle it, ya know?"

"Jacob Black, you need to hear this even if you don't want to, I need you to."

"Sure, sure go ahead, you're right, whatever you need to say go ahead."

I took a deep breath and began. "Jacob, I do love you but right now in my life, I am not prepared for you to be anything to me other than what you've always been to me, my friend. I do love you but not the way that you need me too. I know it really sucks but I need you to try and understand"

The look in his eyes almost made me cave, the pain I saw there seemed magnified by the realization that I was the second woman that was breaking his heart.

"Nessie, I….I…I think you should leave." I could feel his body start to tremble, I knew that I needed to get back, I knew I only had seconds before he phased. I quickly stood up on my tip toes and kissed him. It was impulsive but it just felt right. He pushed me away and the next thing I knew he had phased right in front of my eyes.

I turned and ran into the forest towards my house. I ran as fast as I could, I needed to put as much space between Jake and I as possible. I didn't know if he was following me and I couldn't take a chance that he was. When my grandparents home came into view, I saw Nahuel standing on the porch looking out over the meadow when I burst through the forest. When he saw me a huge smile spread across his face. I ran up the steps and grabbed his hand and pulled him out to the clearing. "We need to leave now!"

"Renesme what happened?"

I knew that he deserved an explanation but I just could give him one. "I just need to go, I need to leave. The sooner the better."

"Well, let me go get my aunt and don't you need to say goodbye to your family?"

"No, Nahuel, there is no time. We need to go right now."

He looked at me for a moment and I could tell he was considering what I was asking him to do. I was asking him to run away with me, he didn't know what my father or family would do. Would he take this risk? Was my request too much for him? "OK, Renesme, OK, let me grab my bag." He ran upstairs and was back in a flash.

I pulled my bag that I had hidden, from under the stairs. It contained my passport and money. A sob caught in my throat when I saw the name on my passport: Vanessa Wolf. I can't believe we hadn't changed it since the time with the Volturri. I should have seen it then that Jacob was more to me than just my friend.

Nahuel reached for my hand and then we were running. As much as I knew I would miss my family and Jake it felt good to be making this decision on my own.

We arrived in Seattle and purchased tickets to Argentina, it would take us through Los Angeles. Every time I looked at Nahuel he was smiling. I smiled at him too.

This was my first time out of Forks and it was actually exciting to see apart of the world. Any part of the world other than my own right now.

As we flew over the mountains of Argentina, Nahuel pointed out little villages, lakes and then the airport came into view.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Choices**

We arrived at Nahuel's ranch and he showed me to the guest room. It was beautiful, my room had a view of the rolling peaks and valleys. In the distance I could see Nahuel's sisters, gracefully coming toward the house. They all looked excited to see that their brother was home. I could hear them laughing and all talking at once. "Was she beautiful?" "Did she want to meet you?" "Did she show interest in coming with you?" "Where is Tia Huilen?"

Nahuel laughing, answered them, "Why don't you ask her yourself." I had come down to stand in the door and they turned in disbelief, but all smiling. None of them had ever seen another female hybrid like themselves.

"Oh, Nahuel she is beautiful" Nahuel's eldest sister, Serena said. She turned to me and asked "What is your name, dear?" "Renesmee" "Well, what an unusual name, is there a meaning for it?"

I smiled, for as long as I can remember people always ask the same thing about my name. Even Jake has changed it to Nessie, I smiled to myself remembering when my mother first heard them call me that. She was so upset. "I was named after my two grandmothers, Renee and Esme." Nahuel's sister Jennifer looked surprised "You know them both?" I realized as she asked me this that this concept was new to them, as the only parent they knew was their father, Joachim.

"I know all of my family, I have both my mother, Bella and my father, Edward."

"They are together still?" Jennifer asked "Yes, of course. My mother almost died while giving birth to me, as a matter of fact, I do believe that she actually did die, but my father brought her back and in the process he saved her by changing her into a vampire." "My parents had no idea that it was even possible to have a child when they married, so when it happened they were both so frightened."

Nahuel's sister, Maysun spoke next, she seemed the most timid but so curious "Amazing, Renesmee, how many did you say were in your family?"

"Well, besides my parents, I have both sets of grandparents, and aunts and uncles, there is a total of eight" and one that I made no mention of but in my heart I knew there was Jacob, he WAS my family too right? He had always been there, more like an uncle or brother, until recently. I thought back to the kiss that I gave him before I had run from his house, he had pushed me away but if he hadn't I knew that it would have changed everything. "Renesmee, do you have a mate?" Jennifer asked bringing me back to the present. I blushed, "No, no I don't" Next it was Maysun asking "Do you think that you will be with us for awhile?" "Oh, I don't know, I know I would need to see my family again, I did leave them without a goodbye or an explanation, I really should go and call my mother at least to let her know where I am and that I am OK." "It truly was a pleasure to meet all of you, I think that I will go call my parents and then lie down for a little while." I excused myself and went upstairs. Once in my room I took out my cell phone and called my mother.

"Hey mom, yes I am fine. I know, I know please tell Auntie Alice that I am sorry that I scared her" "We are here at Nahuel's ranch in Argentina, it is a beautiful place." "Yes, all his sister's are here and they are beautiful and so welcoming" "I have a very beautiful room too." My mom was rattling off questions rapid fire, "No, mother I don't know how long I plan on staying here." "Yes, please tell Jacob that I am safe and not to worry but don't give him any false hope either mom." "Jake wasn't very happy with me and I am sure he's never going to want to see me again. I wouldn't even blame him." " I just know that I need to be open to all my choices" "Yes, I'll call again, I love you and dad so much, good-bye mom."

I went and laid down but when I closed my eyes, Jakes face popped into my mind. I tried to shake my head clear because I came here to get to know myself and to learn more about Nahuel but also to get to know myself better too.

I sat up and went to get a piece of paper and pen. I started writing down what I knew:

1) I knew that I wanted love and to love someone

2) I knew that I could have it with Jacob

3) I knew my family loved me

4) I knew my life was extraordinary

5) I knew I wanted to get to know Nahuel

6) I knew I had to get out of this room and start!

I ripped up the paper and put my shoes back on and I ran down the stairs. Nahuel was sitting on the front porch, he looked surprised to see me. "Hi, did you rest well?" "Yes, thank you" "Would you like to go for a horseback ride?" "Yes, that sounds like fun, my Uncle Jasper used to ride horses and tells me how much he misses it, I have never been before." Nahuel smiles and asks "I know this is crazy, but are you hungry? I ask because I know that you don't drink human blood, only animals and we don't. We use our animals for riding and selling." I laugh, "Oh, no I am fine. I eat human food too, not just animal blood." "Oh, well then we will need to go get some groceries."

We headed down to his barn and he had two beautiful horses brought out for us. We rode all afternoon, talking and getting to know each other. He was such an amazing person, he had seen so much in his lifetime. He was older than my father, yet looked younger. It was so weird to think he was 155 years old because he still acted like a teenager.

By the time we got back to the house the sun was setting and a s Nahual helped me down off my horse, he held me and leaned in for a kiss, it was slow and sweet.

When it was over he smiled at me. I smiled back but in my heart I knew that there was someone else's kisses that I wanted. But would he want mine? I had told Jake that I didn't feel that way about him. I was worse than my mother because he imprinted on me….Me, my mother's daughter. He's going to hate me, I've been so horrible to him. He'd been in love with my mother, had wanted to marry her, how could it be that I was his true love? Would he be able to look at me without thinking about my mother, could he forget her? I didn't know but I was ready to find out. In that one kiss, in that one solitary moment, my heart was in it's solstice and I realized it was inclining towards my own personal sun, my Jacob, my one true love.

"Nahuel, I need to go home, I have already been here too long" Almost a month.

"OK, Renesme, I can take you back in a few days. I have to take my cattle to sell but after that I can go, can you wait till then?" "Yes, I can." I went upstairs to call my mother.


	7. Chapter 7

**"If you haven't the strength to impose your own terms upon life, you must accept the terms it offers you." **

**-T.S Elliot.**

**Chapter 7: Like Mother, Like Daughter.**

Days and nights passed, and I grew tired of running aimlessly around the forest, I was basically just running for the sake of running. I went home, phasing back to my human form and heading inside. Billy was in the kitchen making himself breakfast or lunch, I didn't even know which. He didn't say anything as I stumbled into the living room past him and slumped on the couch in front of the TV. He's used to me disappearing for days on end. My intention was to turn on the TV but before I could even reach for the remote there was a sound outside. I grumbled, standing up and taking my sweet time getting to the door. I swung it open. No. Way.

"Nessie?" I managed to say after picking my jaw up off the floor. I couldn't contain myself, I leaned forward and wrapped her in a big bear hug, burying my face in her hair. "I've missed you so much."

I held her at arms length just looking at her face, trying to familiarize myself with her again, not that I could ever forget.

"Me too Jake." She whispered in response.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" I asked, grinning from ear to ear, still staring at her, almost afraid to blink, like she might disappear.

"Aww, I just needed to see you, I've….missed you."

"Did your parents….explain things to you?" I frowned, parts of my conversation with Edward and Bella coming to mind.

"Yeah, I just wanted to let you know how I feel." The tone of her voice said enough, I shook my head. "Nessie, if you're hear to tell me that you love me but…..I'd rather you just left. I don't think my heart could handle it" I pressed my lips into a hard line and looked away from her.

"Jacob Black, you need to hear this even if you don't want to, I _need_ you to." I sighed. "Sure, sure go ahead, you're right whatever you need to say, say it"

I leaned against the door frame and crossed my arms over my chest, she tried to catch my eye but I looked past her towards the forest.

"Jacob, I think at this point in my life, I'm not ready for you to be anything to me other than what you have always been, my friend and my confidante." A stab to the heart, I had never tried to push Renesme into anything I didn't think she was ready for but recently my feelings for her had been a lot stronger and a lot harder to hide.

"I do love you but not that way." I dropped my eyes to my feet and shifted uncomfortably. "I know it sucks but I need you to try and understand"

The pain in my chest intensified and I could feel the warmth spreading through my body, my emotions were taking over. "Nessie, I…I…I think you should leave."

My hands were shaking, I balled them into fists. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to gain control of myself. I'm shocked when Nessie stands on her toes and kisses me, time stands still for just a second, the feel of her lips on mine burned into my memory, but the phasing feeling nags at me. I pushed her away from me, changing into my wolf form. A howl rips from my throat as I watch her turn and run. I'm confused, hurt and…..confused. The girl tells me we're nothing more then friends and then plants one on me? When did my life turn into a bad soap opera? I don't know what else to do so I run, not after Nessie, I'm actually running in the opposite direction. I try not to think too much, I'd like to eventually phase back to my human form again.

I grew weary and went back home, heading straight to my room. I laid in bed, replaying the kiss in my mind over and over again, I couldn't help it. Eventually my tiredness got the best of me and I drifted off to sleep.

You have got to be kidding me. I didn't have to open my

eyes to realize who had just barged into my room unannounced. I groaned loudly and pulled my quilt over my

head, maybe if I ignore her, she'll go away.

I should've known better, Bella walked over to my bedside

and ripped the quit away from my face. "Where is she?" her

voice was a low growl, verbal poison.

"Where is who?" I answered, rubbing my sleep covered eyes with the back of my huge fists. Bella's face came into focus, her shiny brown hair was pulled to one side of her shoulders in a long braid, her topaz eyes were narrowed, giving a new meaning to the phrase "If looks could kill".

"Don't be smart with me Jacob Black, where is my daughter? Where is Renesme?" she put both her hands on her narrow hips and glared down at me.

Since I was lying down, she towered over me, it made it much more intimidating. "She's probably sleeping, because she can sleep." I muttered under my breath, putting a pillow over my head in attempt to end this useless conversation. I wasn't

worried, Bella tended to overact.

Bella wouldn't have it, she reached out and grabbed the pillow, trying to pull it off but I fought back this time. I gripped the other end and pulled back with all my strength, the cloth made a loud ripping sound, sending a blanket of feathers all over my room. "I'm not cleaning that up." I sat up in bed and stretched my arms over my head, all the bones in my body shifted and cracked.

Bella watched me from the corner, a scowl chiseled into her pale stone face. Her eyes were following every one of my

movements, like I was her prey. It was creepy but I stared right

back.

"I'm going to ask you one more time.." her perfect pink

lips hadn't moved, she had hissed the words through her

venomous teeth. "Where is Renesme?"

I was truly confused now, why would she come here to look for Nessie? Hadn't I been ordered to stay away from her? My eyebrows knitted together, my confusion only seemed to frustrate her further.

I got to my feet and walked past her and into my tiny kitchen, opening the fridge and peering inside. Bella was at my side in a blink of an eye, her hair was slightly wind blown, the only sign she hadn't been standing there all along. She snatched everything I grabbed out of my hand and slammed it right back in the fridge. "HEY!" I turned to look at her, I was

seriously annoyed now.

"She's gone Jake.." there was no longer any anger in Bella's voice but genuine concern. She was serious. I closed the fridge a little harder then I should've, it shook nearly falling over. Bella's eyes weren't narrowed anymore, they were just the opposite, wide with fear.

"You're sure?" I tried to keep my voice free of emotion, so many were coming at me at once, I couldn't decide which one to portray. Bella hung her head in surrender, but didn't say another word.

That was the only answer I was going to get. Renesme was gone. My hands started to shake violently at my sides, and the familiar tremors made their way down my spine. My body was getting warmer then it usually was, which was not a good sign since I'm normally 108 degrees. If I didn't get a hold of myself quick, I was gonna phase right there in the kitchen.

Bella put her hand on my chest and I flinched away from her cold skin "Calm down.." she whispered softly, trying to talk me off the ledge. I found that ironic. I looked into her eyes and took slow deep breaths, my chest rising and falling with each sharp intake. My fists opened and closed rapidly and after a few seconds I was calm enough.

"Let's go." I walked out of my front door and started towards the forest. Now that I had a chance to clear my head, I was starting to get really worried. Where the heck would Nessie go? And why wouldn't she tell me? I mean I understand not telling Bella, but me?

Bella's hand hovered over my shoulder, my internal struggle must've been written all over my face. She wanted to comfort me, though it must be just on hard on her.

I let Bella get a head start, she took off into the forest, only a blur to my weak human eyes. I slid off my shorts and tied them to the cord I always had around my ankle. I started running, phasing on they fly. Seth was in his wolf form too, but he was trying not to bother me. He either knew what was going on or had picked up on my mood.

I dug my nails into the dirt and shot my body forward,

doing a quick circle around the Cullen's property, searching for

any trace of Nessie. Nothing.

I made my way to the small cottage where Bella, Edward and Nessie lived. I phased back into my human form, redressed and slowly made my way to the cottage's front door.

Edward opened the door before I could even knock, that didn't surprise me, but the expression on his face sure did. He looked so calm, so serene, so sickeningly Edward like. "Jacob." he inclined his head towards me, he sounded completely at ease, like I was here for some kind of party. I mean hello! Your daughter is missing!

Edward shook his head and smiled, I could see the pity in his eyes. "She's a big girl Jacob. She's smart and she can take care of herself." I scoffed and clenched my jaw.

It was like he didn't even care about her.

Edward narrowed his eyes and I recognized the humming sound that came from his chest, he was growling.

"Stop it right there. Don't ever question my love for my daughter. Renesme is my life."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "you could've fooled me." I knew I was being a jerk, of course he cared about Nessie, but I was really freaked out. She was my imprint, without her, a big piece of me was missing.

Edward sighed and put a heavy hand on my shoulder. "I know this is hard for you Jacob. I know how much you love her. Your thoughts are painful to listen to, I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like to actually feel them."

As if to confirm how true my hurt was, my heart gave a painful lurch.

"We will find her. We just want to giver her some space. We don't want to bring her back here to have something like this happen again."

Ever since Edward had become a father he'd been much more level headed. Just my luck. Everything he was saying made sense but I was much too emotional to be reasoned with, just like a woman.

Where was Bella anyways? What was her opinion on all this 'giving Nessie space' nonsense? Surely she'd be on my side.

"She's waiting for you inside." Edward muttered, stepping out of the doorway so I could get through. I stayed near the front door, leaning against the frame. I

I looked over at Bella, who was sitting on the crème colored couch with her hands folded in her lap. One ankle was tucked behind the other. A beautiful marble sculpture. She looked just as calm as her husband who walked across the room to stand by her side. It sucked that no one was on my side anymore.

"Being overly emotional won't help the situation." Edward murmured, he was only half there now. His eyes had a distant look to them and I could almost see the wheels turning in his head.

I snorted "Do the other Cullen's know?"

Edward nodded "Most of them know, only Rose and Emmett haven't heard the news but I'm sure the others will fill them in." he smiled at me, I was sure it was meant to be reassuring but it made me want to throw up.

The left side of Edward's mouth twitched up in a smirk, he was amused by that no doubt.

"We don't want to bring her back just to have her run away again." Bella finally spoke up, her eyes dodging between Edward and me. Was this some kind of 'Calm Jacob' script?

Were they both insane? I turned and walked away, the shaking taking over my body again. I could hear Bella's voice calling my name but I just ignored her. In an instant I was on four legs, man's best friend. A howl ripped from my throat and rang out in the silence. I hadn't felt this horrible since, since Bella had chosen Edward over me. Those Swan-Cullens were heartbreakers. My heart sank. Renesme was gone, just like Bella had been but I wasn't giving up. Even if I had to run a complete circle around the entire world I _would _find her. Or I would die trying.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Can't They See I'm Freaking Out Here?!**

I didn't know how long it had been. I stopped counting hours after the first day. Time didn't matter if I didn't have Nessie. If I wasn't counting the hours till I got to see

her again, I didn't even know if I'd ever be able to see her

again.

I didn't go out any more, I hardly ate. I could tell Billy

was getting worried, but I didn't care, what was the point of

doing stupid human things if I couldn't do them with

Renesme?

Every day Embry and Quil would come over to see how I was doing and every day I would tell them to leave me alone, of course they never listened. Today was no different, I heard the loud knock at my door. "Come in." I groaned, trying to add as much annoyance into my voice as I could muster.

Quil opened the door and sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. "Jake man, you need to get the hell out of this house!" Embry walked in behind him nodding his head. "You look horrible man." he added, raising one of his brows and clucking his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

"Yeah, well I feel horrible." I shifted my body away from them and rolled to my other side, my nose was pressed against the wall.

Quil sighed again "Dude, this isn't healthy. Billy isn't much better then you are. You've got him freaked. He thinks you might like kill yourself." but after he finished talking his expression softened. "We're all worried."

I turned back towards them and sat up in bed for the first time in who knows how long, they both gasped dramatically and pointed at me.

"He sat up." Embry wailed, coming over and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I shrugged it off.

I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. "I'm sorry I've been so out of whack, but how would you feel if Claire went missing?" Quil winced like he'd been punched in the gut.

"See." I sighed and got to my feet, the blood rushed from my head. It had been a while since I'd gotten out of bed, I was unsteady on my feet. Embry came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder "I sympathize Jake, but you need to get over this." he shrugged his shoulders.

Embry hadn't imprinted yet, so of course he had no idea how hard this was for me. "At least take a walk with us." Quil suggested, his voice filled with hope.

Ack, how could I say no when he wanted to help so bad?

I could at least pretend that they cheered me up. "Alright,

alright. You win, let me shower."

Quil and Embry looked at each other and raised their eyebrows then looked back at me. "God, I'm not gonna commit suicide. Would one of you like to come inside the bathroom with me?"

Embry laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. "No man, we believe you. Come on Quil." and with that, they both walked out of the room.

I grabbed a fresh pair of shorts and a light cotton t shirt and headed to the bathroom, Billy watched as I walked through the living room but didn't say a word. He

didn't want to take a chance and ruin what little progress had

apparently been made.

I turned on the shower and stripped, I was wearing the same thing I'd been wearing when I found out Nessie was gone. I stepped into shower and sighed, the water beating against my body. The steam seemed to ease all my muscles and I started to feel a little bit relaxed. Then I felt guilty about being relaxed. I dried myself off and got dressed, then slipped on a pair of shoes and walked back into the living room.

"Going out with Quil and Embry, back soon." I said as I

passed Billy on my way to the front door. The guys were

leaning against the side of my car, a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit I'd built myself.

"I'm out of bed, I'm dressed, now where are we going?" I knew I sounded extremely ticked off but I really did appreciate the fact that they were trying to make me feel better. How much more would my life suck if my friends stopped caring?

Quil shifted his weight from one foot to the other, I could tell they didn't have any particular activity planned. We hadn't really had time to hang out like normal teenagers. I was surprised they even had time to hang out now. Sam must've given them special permission.

"Well, we could go cliff diving." Embry suggested,

with a shrug. "Yeah, Cliff diving." Quil agreed, his voice laced

with to much enthusiasm. "Fine." I said, walked to the driver's

side of the Rabbit and putting my hand on the door handle.

"Uh Jake?" Quil looked at me and bit his bottom lip, he looked nervous like I might punch him. "Do you think it'd be okay if Embry drove? I mean, I trust you it's just we don't want -there will be a lot of cliffs and.." he didn't finish his thought just covered his head with his arms. I rolled my eyes and let go of the door handle.

"Whatever." I got into the back seat and crossed my arms over my chest. They were treating me like a child. No wait, they were treating me like a ticking time bomb. I was fine.

They wouldn't stop talking the whole way there. They asked me questions constantly and I wasn't sure if it was to keep my mind off things or to make sure I hadn't opened the back door and rolled down the dirt road, though their useless chatter made the thought very tempting.

Embry pulled the Rabbit to the base of the cliff and cut the engine, turning in his seat to look at me. "This is gonna be fun man." He said with mock excitement.

I rolled my eyes and opened the door, stepping out of the backseat and into the open air. I had to admit, it was nice to be outside again.

I followed the guys up the trail to the top of the cliff. They continued to chatter on but when they asked my opinion I just ignored them.

When w got to the top, both of them sat down and took off their shoes. I walked to the ledge and looked down at the dark water below. I could see La Push beach from here and I started to remember the last time I was here when I had pulled Bella out of the same ocean back when she was still human. I hadn't spoken to Bella since I'd stormed out of her cottage.

Had they made any progress since I'd last seen them? Had Nessie called home? I would hope they'd call me with any new information. She'd know I'd be sick with worry. I sighed loudly and dropped my face into my hands.

This was so frustrating, it sucked not to know things. I kicked off my shoes and pulled my t-shirt over my head, I don't even know why I even bothered to put one on in the first place.

Quil and Embry were standing on the edge beside me, smiling encouragingly. I tried to smile back but from the look on their faces, it must've looked more like a grimace.

"I'll go first…." I said, backing away from the edge so I could get a running start. I took a deep breath and pushed forward, throwing myself off the edge of the cliff and into thin air. And for a few seconds, I was flying, completely weightless. The wind howled in my ears, a comforting and familiar sound. Then I was falling. I closed my eyes and braced myself for impact.

What goes up, must come down. I landed in the water with a loud splash and started to swim in the general direction of the beach. I let the tide carry me to the shore and let my body lay limp in the rocks for a few seconds, so I could catch my breath.

I sat up and looked over my shoulder at the cliff, I could see three figures now. I was so confused I had to close my eyes and count them again. When I opened my eyes there were only two figures again. I must be hallucinating. I got to my feet and walked over to the drift wood tree I usually sat on when I hung around the beach.

One second I was sitting alone and the next, Bella was perched on the tree next to me. "Uhhhh, hi." I looked at her and raised my eyebrows. Just looking at her brought up a whole bunch of questions.

"We've heard from Renesme." but the words all came out wrong, she sounded sad.

"That's good news, isn't it?" I couldn't stop the smile that crept onto my face. They found her! But Bella was frowning, a "W" formed between her eyebrows.

"She called. She's fine….she seems….happy." Bella closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. "But she is not ready to come home yet, she wants to keep traveling." She sighed "I have to tell you Jake, she's not alone."

My heart sank. "W-what? W-who? Huh?" I jumped to my feet. I was mad but I was sad too. "Please-Please Bella tell me this is some kind of sick joke."

I fell to my knees and gripped handfuls of rocks in each of my hands. A picture of a-still-human-Bella wrapping her arms around herself to keep herself together flashed through my mind and my arms snapped around my torso.

Bella got on her knees beside me and put her arms around my shoulders. "Jake, I'm sorry."

I whimpered, tears burned at the back of my eyes. "April fools?" I whispered, my voice cracking. It wasn't even April but a guy could hope.

"No, Jake." Bella leaned her head on my shoulder and wiped a few of my stray tears away with her thumb.

Embry and Quil had gotten to the beach then, I could see them standing there from the corner of my eye. I am sure they had some general idea of what was going on as they watched me cry like a baby in the rocks, while Bella rocked me back and forth telling me that everything was gonna be alright.

I wanted to claw my heart out but I wouldn't get the chance. The last thing I remembered was my eyes rolling back in my head and landing face first in the rocks. Everything went black


	9. Chapter 9

**9. Will You Just Shut Up?!**

"Five bucks says he wakes up in the next ten minutes." it was Embry, his voice sounded distant. "You're on." Quil answered, his voice filled with confidence.

I must've been out for a while. I could tell I wasn't at the beach anymore, a soft pillow was supporting my head and if I listened hard enough, I could hear the TV turned low in the living room.

My eyelids fluttered and finally snapped open. "Pay up." Embry shoved his hand toward Quil, a smug grin on his face. Quil ignored him and leaned toward me. "Jake man, I'm so glad you're okay." He looked so relieved, he even wiped a few sweat beads from his forehead. I sat up and looked around my bedroom.

"Do you need anything?" Quil asked. "Water? A cheeseburger? Maybe I should order a few pizzas, you must be starving."

He hurried out of the room, I could hear him talking to Billy in the living room, but couldn't make out his exact words.

Embry sat on the edge of my bed and looked around the room, avoiding my eyes. I felt completely numb, the pain wasn't there anymore. I was just….empty. I was so thankful that Embry didn't force me into conversation, he sat there silently and played with his fingers.

"How long have I been out?' I asked, disrupting the silence.

"A half hour." Embry whispered, he still hadn't looked at me. "We thought you were messed up before…." He let his sentence hang in the air but didn't have to finish for me to get what he was thinking. I was a lot worse and he blamed himself. "I know it sucks, even if I've never imprinted…..I know what it's like to get your heartbroken." He bit his lip and slowly turned his head, his dark thoughtful eyes finally making contact with mine. "I'm sorry Jake. I wish life didn't suck so bad, but it does….for everyone."

His hand went to his face, one of his nails scratching at the skin above his right eyebrow. "No one knows exactly what it's like to be in your shoes but this sort of thing happens all the time."

I roll my eyes, that was hardly true, everything about my situation was different. A wolf had NEVER imprinted on a half vampire before and I'd NEVER heard of an imprintee choosing to be with anyone other than their imprinter.

"Bella had more to tell you, but after you passed out….she didn't think it was such a good idea." Did I want to know more? I wasn't sure, maybe ignorance was bliss. "I think you should talk to her, at least know all the details. It may hurt but it could be closure." He shrugged his shoulders and got off my bed, walking into the living room.

"Quil, I think twenty pizza's might be pushing it." Embry looked at me from over his shoulder and smirked. "I don't think Jake can eat like a man today, he's to busy moping around like a girl."

I grabbed the plastic cup of water someone had put by my bed and chucked it at Embry, aiming for the back of his head. I missed by a centimeter.

Some how I got the strength to get out of bed and hang in the living room with the pack, who'd come over as soon as they'd heard what happened, and Billy who watched me intently the whole entire time

"Can you pass another piece?" Seth asked, everyone in the room looked at him and raised their brows before bursting out in laughter.

"That's cute Seth." Leah snickered, holding up the empty pizza boxes and shaking her head. Everyone went back to their conversation but I watched as Leah snuck a piece of pizza from the box under her chair and hand it to her brother, messing with his hair. Her sudden kindness overwhelmed me. When I caught her eye, I gave her a smile, she just looked a little embarrassed. "What are you staring at Jake?"

"I was just um…nothing…nothing at all" I grabbed Embry and pushed him off the couch. "Leave some pizza for the rest of us man!"

"Gosh, Jake…you need to get out, see that there are other girls in this world, not just your stupid leeches." Leah smirked

"Watch it Leah! Don't talk about Renesmee that way!" I growled

"Jacob, she chose someone else! You have to deal with it!"

"Leah!" Embry shouted "We don't know that for sure! Bella, didn't tell us that."

"Yeah, well she didn't need to, do you see Renesmee anywhere around here?" With that I launched myself at Leah and knocked her over.

"Get off me Jake! You know it's true! Just face it! She's gone, move on!"

"Leah, take it back or get the hell out of my house!"

"Jake, I am sorry. I just don't want to see you hurting like this…again."

"I know, I know you guys are worried about me but I'm going to be OK, I just need some time."


	10. Chapter 10

**10. There's A First Time for Everything**

"I look like an idiot." The reflection in the mirror looked nothing like me. Well, I mean it was my face but the clothes were all wrong. The white shirt, starched beyond recognition clung to my body in a way I was completely unfamiliar with, but that wasn't the worst part. No, nothing could be as horrible as the tan "slacks" I had been forced into. "I'm not going to a wedding, I'm just taking this girl to get a burger. This…." I motioned towards myself "….is hardly called for."

The whole pack had crammed themselves into my tiny house to see me off for my first "date". I walked into the living room and crossed my arms tightly over my chest. There was complete silence for half a minute, followed by school girlish laughter. "Yeah, real mature guys." I rolled my eyes and stalked back into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. The whole house shook.

It was bad enough they were making me go on a date with some girl I didn't know, I wasn't about to let them dress me up like some kind of Quileute Ken doll. I plopped myself onto my bed and dropped my head into my hands, pressing my fingers against my eyelids until I could see stars.

This wasn't helping, all I could do was think about Nessie. The pain in my chest, the feeling of my heart breaking….again was so familiar, and that didn't seem fair. I'm a decent guy, strong, independent, hardworking, handsome "ish", Like any of that mattered, I didn't deserve all this pain.

There was a soft knock at my door. "Come in." I murmured, still lost in my own thoughts. The last person I expected was Leah, but she opened the door, stepped into my room and then closed the door behind her. "Stop moping around Jacob." She put both her hands on her hips and rolled her eyes. "Everyone is here trying to help you get out of your funk, can't you at least act like you are improving? For their sake." I raised my head and narrowed my eyes at her, who was she to tell me to suck it up? Every second as a wolf was completely miserable because of her stupid memories, and I'm not the only one who's bothered by them.

"They aren't helping, it's actually making things worse. Excuse me for taking the attention off you for one second." I wasn't in the mood to fight with her, I just wanted to sleep…..forever. Leah frowned but didn't say anything, which was unusual for her- she always had something to say to kick a man when he's down. "Get up." she commanded after a few minutes of awkward silence. I was about to protest but she walked over and tugged me to my feet by my elbow.

She dragged me over to the mirror and stood behind me, both of us frowning at my reflection. "You know, it doesn't look that bad." she shrugged her shoulders and her eyebrows pulled together over her thoughtful dark eyes. "But you're right something's off." She tapped her index finger against her cheek and eyed me skeptically. I wished she wouldn't do that, it felt….weird. I've never really looked at Leah and she never gave me a second glance, I liked it that way, it was much more comfortable. "It's the collar." Leah practically shouted, her eureka moment. "Turn around." I slowly turned to face her, then skidded backwards after seeing how close our faces had been. Leah raised both her brows at me and smirked, obviously amused by my reaction. She raised both her hands in the air in front of her and giggled, I didn't even know Leah could giggle. "I don't have cooties Jacob." She took a step closer to me and reached her hands out for my collar, I kept my eyes on her hands just in case she decided to strangle me, but her hands were gentle. She took a step back to examine her work, then pursed her lips. "One more thing." She stepped forward and reached her hands towards my chest I stumbled backward "Whoa." I held one hand at arms length out in front of me and shook my head firmly. Leah rolled her eyes and pressed her lips into a hard line. "Oh come on, I'm not trying to get fresh with you just wanted to smooth out the wrinkles." I looked down at my shirt and frowned, I guess sitting on my bed had made the shirt a bit wrinkly. I ran my hands downward then tugged at the shirts tail. "There done." Leah nodded and eyed me again. "You know, you don't look half bad." she mused, shrugging her shoulders. Did she really just compliment me? "Err…thanks." My eyes strayed over to the clock hanging from my wall. "I think I better go…..I don't want to be late…I guess." Leah nodded and I started to walk past her towards the door. I paused, my hand on the door knob, Leah's hand came down on my shoulder. A chill went down my spine. "Try to have a good time Jake." her voice was low like a whisper, but had an edge to it. If I didn't know better, I would've sworn she sounded sad.

The whole pack broke out in cat calls and whistles when I walked into the living room. I tried my best not to look completely miserable. I flashed a glance at Leah standing in the doorway of my bedroom and made a mental note to check my bed sheets before I went to sleep tonight. Then headed out the front door. Me and my "date" had agreed to meet at some hole-in-the-wall diner in Forks, so I got into the Rabbit and started down the winding road off the reservation, a road that I had taken a million times. It still tore my heart in two knowing that Nessie wasn't going to be at the end of the road. The trip seemed short which was a big disappointment, I'd hoped to delay this torture for as long as possible.

I got out of the Rabbit, slamming the door behind me, and slinked over to the diner's glass door, pausing for a second before pushing it open.

I looked around, not even sure who I was looking but it turned out I didn't need to. She knew, I could see her sitting at a table in the corner near the bathrooms. She waved frantically at me, with the biggest smile on her face. I groaned internally but crossed the floor to her table.

"Jacob? I knew it was you. You're exactly like your friends described." I pulled out my chair and sat down across from her, then nodded. "Yeah, I'm Jacob." I had been tempted to lie and pretend to be someone else but Leah's words echoed through my head. "Try to have a good time Jake."

The girl introduced herself but I didn't bother remembering her name. This was a one time thing, for the pack, I never planned to see her again. The waitress came to take our drink orders and by the time she returned I was already contemplating ways to drown myself in my glass of Coke. Girl hadn't stopped her nervous chatter since I'd sat down.

We ordered our food, both of us had burgers but Girl had ordered hers without onions. I tuned out everything she said until our food came. The waitress set down our plates and then asked if we needed anything, Girl asked for ketchup. "I love ketchup. Don't you just love ketchup?" I just sat there and stared at her, marveling at how she got so many words out of her tiny body in just one breath. It took a second for me to realize she was waiting for me to answer. "Um….yeah. Ketchup is great. It's red….like…blood." Of course that reminded me of Nessie, I looked down at the ketchup bottle and sighed. You know you're losing it when your condiments make you sentimental. Girl wrinkled her nose. "I never thought of that." She eyed the ketchup on her plate skeptically. "Anyways." She looked back up at me and picked up a French Fry, biting off a piece and chewing on it thoughtfully. She continued to speak her girlish nonsense. I never understood girl's minds, one second she was talking about school and then she was talking about movies. It was a little hard to follow. I basically shoved my entire burger in my mouth and chewed very slowly to keep from having to say anything, she on the other hand ate like a bird, taking only small bites and chewing very quickly. "And I was like no way, but she was totally serious." She nodded her head at the end of her sentence like a punctuation mark. I nodded back even though I had no idea what she was talking about. The waitress came to the table to give us our check and I reach in my pocket to get the few crumpled dollars I had. I put them down on the table and stood up. "Well, that was fun." I put my hands in my pockets and watched her get to her feet in front of me. " Yeah, it totally was. We should do it again sometime." She smiled hopefully and we walked toward the door of the diner together. "Uhh….maybe." I shrugged my shoulders and held the door open for her, she walked out, then turned to look at me. "You're a really nice guy Jacob." She said with another hopeful smile. "No guy has ever listed to me the way you did tonight." I tried to smile back, but I was feeling a little guilty. I had been thinking about how tortured I was for being on this date, I hadn't bothered to pay any attention to her. God, I didn't even know her name. "You're a nice girl." I whispered, walking with her towards the parking lot. My arm was limp at my side, I felt her slip her hand into mine. I looked down at our hands and then back at her face, she was blushing. I gave her hand a quick gentle squeeze, then slipped out of her grasp and crossed my arms over my chest. We had reached the Rabbit, I leaned against the driver's side door and looked down at my feet. "Thanks for dinner." She said, standing in front of me, trying to catch my gaze. "No problem." I answered, looking up at her. She smiled and held her arms towards me, the motion that meant she expected a hug. I leaned forward briefly touching her back with my hands and then leaned away quickly. "Have a nice night." I opened the door, got into the seat and started the engine. I could see her from the corner of my eye still standing there next to my car. I pressed my foot against the gas pedal and drove out of the parking lot and down the road, back to La Push without a single backwards glance.


End file.
